Would you give this to your pre-teen / teenager to read?

**lisaskye** · Newborn Joined: 26 Feb 2008 Posts: 97 Location: Scotland

After reading a couple of the topics about this book I wonder:
Would you give this book to your pre-teen / teenager to read?
My oldest is a very precocious reader. He read the 'His Dark Materials' trilogy when he was 8!! And he read 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night time' when he was 9. I hadn't read that book and when I flipped through it later I saw quite a few f-words. Since my son didn't ask me what it meant I assumed he knew already and had probably heard it on the school playground. I personally think you can't shelter your children from real life and it's often better to let them read about difficult situations and to think about them before they have to encounter that sort of thing themselves for real (I think JK Rowling may have said something similar).
What do you all think?

**moonlight** · Newborn Joined: 18 Dec 2007 Posts: 13

I actually started reading this book aloud to my eleven year old. I quit reading it to him after several chapters, so my response is NO, I would not have my pre-teen read this book. He's a kid! Why make him grow up faster than the world already does? He'll have plenty of reality for the entire rest of his life. For now I want to let him still enjoy some of the magic of childhood without the grinding depression of how tough this life can be.

**mommavamp** · Newborn Joined: 13 Feb 2008 Posts: 66 Location: Ohio

I will not be recommending this book to my 11 yr old son. Even though he loves to read and I love to give him great books, this one is still a little mature for him. He is still very innocent/naive for an 11 yr old, which I feel is GREAT! Maybe when he is 13/14 yrs I will tell him about this book, but not right now. Confused

**Pixie** · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:56 am Post subject:

Would I no, maybe at 14- she is 8 now. My mil thinks it would be a great book for her soon to be 12 yr old so I am buying an audio version for her.

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**Clara** · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:29 am Post subject:

No.

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**mearley** · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:00 pm Post subject:

I don't think you can say absolutely what age is appropriate. Each child is different. You know your own child and what he can handle. Your kids know what kind of language you find acceptable or unacceptable by what you say and accept in your home; by sharing a book with a teen, you are not necessarily condoning everything in the book. You have to weigh the benefits of the book against the negative elements.

I would give this to some of my students (8th grade) with no hesitation. There are other students who would let the language distract from the message of the story. I guess it all comes down to knowing your child's maturity level and what you are comfortable with.

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**chocoholic** · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:57 pm Post subject:

No. We read Curious Incident for an adult book club. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, but the language made me blush. My English friend explained that censorship is different in Europe than it is in America, and we are not used to hearing/reading the same things here in the States. At any rate, this book is not anywhere near the language content of Curious Incident, but the references to masturbation along with language makes me rate it not appropriate for my pre-teen/young teen. This is my personal opinion, and I realize I am on the more conservative side. Smile

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**lisaskye** · Newborn Joined: 26 Feb 2008 Posts: 97 Location: Scotland

chocoholic - Our librarian told me after my son had read the adult version that apparently there is a children's version of the Curious Incident book without the swearing. Oh well.

mearley - I think you've hit the nail on the head. My son reads everything from Simpsons comic books to astrophysics textbooks (not that he necessarily understand them) and everything in between but still knows what is right and what is not. He told me off the other day for saying, "crap." You're right that every child is different and we should make decisions on a case by case basis.

**lisaskye** · Newborn Joined: 26 Feb 2008 Posts: 97 Location: Scotland

I also meant to say that living in a rural, somewhat isolated community like we do, reading books like TATDPI can give kids like mine some insight into people who live 6,000 miles away. I think it's really important that we learn at an early age to empathize with people of different cultures otherwise we might just continue to be distrustful and antagonistic to anything "different" to what we're used to at home. Maybe I'm getting a bit off topic...

**lisaskye** · Newborn Joined: 26 Feb 2008 Posts: 97 Location: Scotland

Sorry - I keep thinking of more things on this topic Laughing

I don't know about the rest of you, but I worry that my kids get too much and have too much stuff and take it all for granted. Even here in BFE, my kids have the Disney Channel, a PS2, the internet, every kind of musical instrument lessons on offer, kayaking, rock climbing, mountaineering, good, new clothes, more food of every sort than they can shake a stick at (I could go on and on). I really want them to know that not everyone has it so good.

**chocoholic** · Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:49 am Post subject:

lisaskye wrote:

Sorry - I keep thinking of more things on this topic Laughing

I don't know about the rest of you, but I worry that my kids get too much and have too much stuff and take it all for granted. Even here in BFE, my kids have the Disney Channel, a PS2, the internet, every kind of musical instrument lessons on offer, kayaking, rock climbing, mountaineering, good, new clothes, more food of every sort than they can shake a stick at (I could go on and on). I really want them to know that not everyone has it so good.

(I am kind of responding to all of your responses here, but didn't know how to copy them all. )

Dang. I would have liked a cleaner version of Curious Incident. I have to say, and it will sound really weird, but the language receded in my memory and all I could remember was the story from this autistic boy. I recommended it to my book club after I had read it. Oops. I guess my point here is that the stories was so compelling that the language didn't interrupt me.

We do need to read these kinds of stories. (I know that there have to be some out there without the language.) I totally agree that our kids are very blessed in abundance. They take it for granted. I'm not ready to introduce my little girls to this story, but we definitely talk about other stories and real life events. We have had several lessons on gratitude and have gone through the exercise of naming blessings. We also have our girls pray such that they name at least three things they are thankful for at the beginning of their prayer. This is just one example of ways I'm trying to convey that we shouldn't take for granted what we have. I know someone from "the Rez" would probably laugh at my efforts. But I am truly aware of how much we have. It actually makes me feel guilty sometimes. So at every turn I am reminding my girls how fortunate we are. As they grow older we definitely will introduce them to more mature material and have more in-depth discussions.

I hope this all made sense. I guess I'm doing my best to teach my children. I had no problem with the book for myself, language and all. It hit the mark and reminded me of how fortunate I am. I am hoping that my attitude, beliefs and gratitude will rub off on my little girls as they grow. Wink

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**Jenny** · Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:59 am Post subject:

My oldest is only 8 so I don't have quite the same reference as those of you with other kids but I think someone over 14 it would be okay. Maybe more so for a boys than girls. Or you could just take out the masturbation page, lol.

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**blondeinabrunetteworld** · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:17 am Post subject:

I totally loved this book, but I won't be giving it to my son when he is a teenager. The language and some of the topics are more crass than I would voluntarily expose my child to.

I did recommend that my friend who works with troubled teens might like to share it with some of her clients.

Naturally, I'm assuming my son won't be a troubled teen ( I hope.)

bookworm · Newborn Joined: 25 Mar 2008 Posts: 38

I will let, probably encourage, my son to read it when he is older, but I will not be purchasing it for the school library. While I agree with the comments about children realizing what the world is really like, I do feel some responsibility to those who will be offended by the comment which causes Junior to punch Roger----that's the kind of imagery which has caused books to be banned---not that kids don't truly make comments such as that.

**Bittersweet** · Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:03 am Post subject:

I thoroughly enjoyed the book but it's not for my 13 yr old daughter..yet. If she was a boy..maybe but I like to pretend that masturbation and erections are not really something for her to be reading about. Couple years and it'll be fine for her.

Yikes, that pic wasn't suppose to show up there. I'll try to remove it, sorry! LOL (and if you see no pic then ignore this comment Smile