Did Bella "cheat" by kissing Jacob?

Reader · Newborn Joined: 25 Jun 2008 Posts: 17

I don't see it as cheating at all, probably because I wouldn't see it as cheating in real life, either. What I mean by this is that for me, when I took my marriage vows I promised to forsake all others--but Bella hasn't taken those vows yet. She needs to learn how to be grown-up in this area, becaue marriage doesn't mean that you will never feel attraction for anyone else, ever. It means you make a decision to live faithfully and chastely, and that you have the maturity to handle those other feelings, and other people, in a way that's respectful to everyone involved. When Bella is essentially "undone" while kissing Jacob is at the moment when he becomes joyous, and that joy makes him vulnerable again. She makes a realization that a more mature woman should be able to make privately and on her own: that yes, she's in love with him, and no, that's not going to change anything. And a more mature woman might have found a way of conveying this that didn't involve kissing Jacob--but he's very young, too, and probably would have remained unconvinced by words. In a way, I see it as a goodbye kiss: if she had kissed him again later, or had decided to be deceitful and dishonest about her feelings for Jaacob while carrying on with Edward, that would be cheating in my mind. But not one kiss by an unmarried person, no.

**deer67** · Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:34 am Post subject:

**lauralee** · Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:19 am Post subject:

Reader - I like your perspective, some kids are way to serious too early. She didn't realize that she loved Jacob until the kiss was in process. Sure a part of her brain was saying what are you doing? But she wasn't consciously aware of it until it was already happening. I think if she had that awareness prior to asking him, then it would have been bad.
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Lauralee

Dianec · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:19 pm Post subject:

Hmmmm..good question. In a sense, she was cheating, she kissed another man while she was engaged to someone else. Does that make her a bad person? No. It was something that she had to do. She had to discover her true feelings for Jacob, to realize what she was really giving up by marrying Edward. I think Edward knew that, too, which is why he forgave her (as he should - if he hadn't left, this kiss would have been unnecessary). I think a kiss is better than to marry, be turned into a vampire and then felt regret. She had to go into this situation completely understanding EVERYTHING. However, I still cry when I read the scene - knowing how much Jacob is going to be hurt, and Edward will be hurt by it, too.
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Lipglossed · Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:38 am Post subject:

I don't think it was cheating because Edward knew what Jacob was going to ask her and Jake did kind of trick her into it by threatening to put himself in harms way. I think the kiss clarified things for all three of them. If she hadn't kissed Jake and still married Edward I think there would have been a what if scenario still hanging in the air. Also I think during the kiss she realizes that she could have a nice life with Jake, but it doesn't compare to the AMAZING forever she could have with Edward.

She saw it as saving Jake's life, not sampling what else is out there.
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I touched the cool miracle of his skin , and I was home. ---Bella

Lily · Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:50 pm Post subject:

I think it's certainly a valid question. Given the level of manipulation that Jacob used, I would have to say 'not really'. I don't think she'd have done it in the first place if he hadn't essentially threatened suicide to goad her into it.

Now...I do realize that some pretty intense feelings arose and she really got into it. She didn't *know* that would happen, though, and can hardly be blamed for responding in such a dramatic fashion, given the situation she was in.

I was sure glad though, that Edward wasn't angry. I think he wanted her to be sure about her decision just as much as anyone else did.
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yuds101 · Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:12 am Post subject:

**twintch** · Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:50 am Post subject:

My husband says yes she was cheating, I say no. I know, I know. She had feelings for him. But, she didn't just kiss him, she, as naive as it was thought she could get him to stay and not get hurt. Point taken, that was dumb, but she is only 18 at the time. She didn't kiss him for romantic reasons, yes, she felt something when she did, but it wasn't intended that way. I think she thought she could just kiss him and it would be "yucky" or like kissing a brother but then had those feelings and I think she was surprised by her own subconcious. Then she told Edward, cheaters don't usually tell what they have done. They hide it.

Again, I say no. My husband and I have fought about this point, he is still angry at Bella for it. Cool

I say she was an inexperienced 18 year old.
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yuds101 · Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:01 pm Post subject:

JaneCullen · Newborn Joined: 01 Sep 2008 Posts: 25

I'm sitting on the 'not really' fence too. Sure it caused all three of them pain, and anything that causes Edward pain is unthinkable Twisted Evil

but I agree that she's 18 and very inexperienced.

She deals with it very badly, the combination of her love for Edward and her attraction to Jacob. Some of that is Edward's fault. He went away in the first place, he threw them together, and some part of him, a tiny part, wants her to choose Jake.

I do believe that Bella is confusing a mostly physical attraction with Jake for love. Her reaction to the kiss is overwhelming, and after having to be so restrained with Edward for so long it must have felt incredible for her to let go of all that pent up energy.

Sure, acting on a physical attraction is still cheating in every situation. As a young woman, who has seen very little of the world at large, and who is about to give up everything to be with the man who is without a doubt, and unwaveringly her destiny, part of me thinks that it would have been bad for her not to have acted on this.

She needed to be certain. Beyond a doubt, or she may have had to live the rest of eternity wondering 'what if...'

yuds101 · Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject:

I guess Jane Cullen -you won me over-makes perfect sense
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Vixen228 · Newborn Joined: 04 Sep 2008 Posts: 27 Location: Chicago

In real life, I would definately consider it cheating. She was committed to Edward and kissed another man. Regardless of age or anything, it would be cheating.
HOWEVER, in the book, it is a gray area. Bella is getting ready to give up her life for Edward...leave her family...everything. She has risked death for him and Jacob was there for her when she felt abandoned by Edward in the worst way. There are so many factors. I think a moment of Bella really considering her future and really making sure after everything she had gone through isn't unforgiveable.
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"I know you are strong...you didn't have to break the furniture."

**lauralee** · Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:41 am Post subject:

From a literary standpoint, was there any other way for SM to force Bella to face that unknown future? Even Rosalie's speech didn't make Bella stop and think about what she was giving up. The kiss is forces Bella out of her "comfort zone" and forces her to see the possibilities of a different world. From a real life standpoint, it's cheating. But she isn't having an affair, she's fighting to save his life. That's why Edward and Bella can eventually get over what she did.
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Lauralee

**nighttimepatronofthearts** · Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:43 am Post subject:

Jamie* · Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:48 pm Post subject: