"Exercises"

**lisa** · Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject: "Exercises"

After reviewing the KEEP IT CLEAN Policy, these exercises will help those of us who need practice.

"EXERCISES"
This fictional conversation should, hopefully, help us all see the line between what's appropriate and what's not more clearly: *Disclaimer: All people and situations are completely fictional and any reference to actual people or situations is purely coincidental.

Coven Mother: Here's a thing we need to discuss before I get a nasty letter from someone's lawyer or publicist. Now, I'm not singling out any one of you, but we need to do our exercises.

Newborn: What exercise?

Coven Mother: The exercise that helps keep the line between reality and fantasy a little less blurry. You'll see. Okay, who wants to start?

Topaz Vamp: Okay. I should want to shake hands with Brocktoon if I meet her, after using hand sanitizer to make sure she doesn't get me sick from passing along the germs from every other fan who has shook her hand. I shouldn't want to cut off a lock of her hair, although I think her hair should have it's own personal shampoo commercial and it would probably be more sanitary than shaking her hand.

Coven Mother: That's good. And, even though it would be really neat to have a lock of her hair, we know that's not right. Whose next?

Onyx Newborn: Okay, I got one. I should want to send her a fan letter telling her how good she did on the radio interview, but I shouldn't want to crash into the studio while she's giving the interview and ask for her autograph on a body part.

Coven Mother: Exactly! That would be crossing the line. But, then, you learned that one the hard way, didn't you? All right, these are good, let's keep them coming.

Volturi Mom: I should enjoy reading Brocktoon's books, but I shouldn't have to reVamp or reWander at the end of every chapter and try to track down her private contact information so I can send her a list of all the notes and questions I made in the margins.

Coven Mother: Good, good. That's right. You should google the answers or read the FAQs here or the Q&As here to find questions you have first, to see if she's already answered them. That's very disciplined. Next?

Topaz Vamp: Me! I should want to take Brocktoon out for dinner if she truly accepts the offer, but not if I sense that she accepts it telepathically.

Coven Mother: Yes, yes. But let's remember to focus on keeping the exercise in the form of "should" and "shouldn't", all right? Anyone else ready?

Onyx Newborn: I should want to make her a simple memento to show her how much I love the worlds she's created, but I shouldn't will myself to become a soul and be reborn on the flower planet or write a fantasy story about her joining me there as a bee who pollinates the flowers in this other world.

Coven Mother: [ considering, then slowly] Right. But that sounds like it would make a good story. Still, definitely a shouldn't because it's a fantasy and exactly what we're trying to make sure we don't confuse with reality.

Volturi Mom: Me, me, next! I've got one! I should want to say hi to her nicely if I ever meet her, but I really shouldn't want to keep her in a big jar in my basement.

Coven Mother: Yes, AmyO, that's sounds right. I think you're beginning to understand why you shouldn't want to do that. Go on, though. Why shouldn't you put her in a big jar in your basement?

Volturi Mom: Because.. her breath would fog up the glass, and I wouldn't be able to see her . . . ?

Coven Mother: Well, now, there is that, but..

Newborn: [outraged, jumps up] You people are sick! You're talking about putting this Brocktoon woman in a big jar, and living on Flower Planets with her?! I mean, can't you see what you're talking about is wrong?! I mean, can't you see how crazy that sounds?! Delete my account now! I refuse to be a member of this fanatical club!

Explanation: For those of you who must be wondering where we learned these exercises, it was on a classic Saturday Night Live skit. You can watch it on Saturday Night Live - The Best of Tom Hanks DVD, which you can buy here, but unfortunately you can't find it on YouTube anymore. The transcript and some screenshots can be found here. Reading the transcript isn't as funny as watching the skit, but at least it explains how we learned to do our "exercises!" Mr. Green

And if you want access to see the jars, please send a PM (Private Message) to any Administrator with the subject "Access to Sigh & Swoon." Just be warned. The Sigh & Swoon Forum isn't for everyone. Especially those who still have trouble with their exercises. Mr. Green

_________________

You guys, I SWEAR it wasn't me!

**lisa** · Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject:

Feel free to continue with the dialogue in this thread... but please remember to keep the exercise in the form of "should" and "should not"... Smile

_________________

You guys, I SWEAR it wasn't me!

**AmyO** · Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 6:36 pm Post subject:

Can't breathe.... tears streaming....
_________________

Attention all Utah TMs!! Wanna be on our mailing list? Click here for more info!

**lisa** · Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 7:04 pm Post subject:

... ehem... amyO... "should" and "should not"....

Now let's continue...
_________________

You guys, I SWEAR it wasn't me!

**AmyO** · Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject:

Sorry!

So.... I shouldn't buy the cheap off the shelf jar. I should invest the extra money in the custom made fog-proof jar with a built in ventilation system.
_________________

Attention all Utah TMs!! Wanna be on our mailing list? Click here for more info!

**Backup_Bella** · Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 2:14 am Post subject:

LOL!!

*my step kids think i'm having delusions over here*
_________________
"I have to step out for a second...Don't do anything funny while I'm gone." - Emmett

Click Here for Spam Thread

**Andie** · Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:35 am Post subject:

**AmyO** · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 3:22 pm Post subject:

Trying again....

I should submit my questions to our Ask Steph thread. I should not want to be implanted into her brain like a soul so I can learn all her secrets.
_________________

Attention all Utah TMs!! Wanna be on our mailing list? Click here for more info!

**Katieb** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:46 am Post subject:

AmyO your cracking me up! Smile

_________________

**Avie** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 12:55 pm Post subject:

Ok, here's my exercise for today....

As far as Eddie Cahill goes....I should write him a letter telling him how much I enjoy watching him be a policeman on CSI New York. I should not dress up like a CSI, show up at his front door and tell him I have a seriously terrible crime for him to solve....

Is that what you mean?

*Edit*-My husband came up behind me and said I was dangerously close to inuendo...which I then had to google; I blame my ignorance and changed the word. Embarassed

_________________

**coldheart** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 1:00 pm Post subject:

**momof5** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject:

**heatherR** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 1:12 pm Post subject:

Okay so I should politely and respectfully admire a certain younger actors physical attributes when new photographs are posted but I should not claw at my screen with my face pressed to the monitor hoping the image is like a scratch and sniff sticker.
Hey...this really works !

**lisa** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject:

**momof5** · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject:

Let's see if I got this right....

I should spend a few minutes each day looking at the beautiful men on this forum.

I should not spend all day drooling & fantasizing about the beautiful men on this forum, while my huband and children stand around me in dirty clothes and with empty tummies, wondering what has happened to their wife/mother.
_________________