We all know that Bella fell in love with Jacob, whether or not we liked it, it happened. But I have found so much more peace of mind about it after reading a quote from Stephenie.
This is what she talked about...
Before moving to Forks Bella had never fallen in love. She never even dated! Then she moves to Forks and boys are falling left and right for her ! Then she falls so madly in love with Edward! It's the greatest right?
Well when Edward's gone and she unknowingly falls in love with Jacob. She knows she has feelings for him and assums it's as a friend or brother. (Even her dad is pushing her to make ammends with Jacob in Eclipse because he's a CLOSE FAMILY FRIEND.)
Then we all know the kiss that confirmed Bella's recognition about being in love with Jacob. So why didn't she realize it before?!!! (I was angry with bella on my first read through...I'll be honest...but I understand a lot better now...and it all makes sence and no reason to be angry)
So her first experience of love was with Edward and it was SO intense and deep and breathless and just so rare that when she fell in love with Jacob, it was unrecognizable to her, it was human and normal and grew slowly. The only love she knew was what she had with Edward and that's what she knew love to be!
Stephenie even said that if Bella would have known that she was in love with Jacob, she WOULD NOT have pursued "him" (his friendship in Eclipse) because she knows she loves Edward more and wouldn't have hurt Edward (or Jacob) like that. That's why she's SO UPSET with herself and what she's done. She really had NO IDEA. I've been able to "forgive" bella now, she didn't do anything wrong.
What do you guys think?

I forgave Bella for falling in love with Jacob the minute Edward met her on the side of the road at the end of EC. Edward left her in NM broken and alone. She suffered so much and remained in love with Edward right up till she had to say goodbye to Jacob. Edward leaving really had no impact of how she felt she loved Edward more then she could have ever possibly loved Jacob.

Bella clung to the memory of Edward throughout NM and never let him go, therefore never letting the truth of her feelings for Jacob come through. Seriously if Bella had never had to save Edward from Italy she probably could have found peace and happiness with Jacob. Over time she might have been able to allow the memory of Edward to fade into the distance. Her pain of losing her first true love would have dissapated over time and her feelings for Jacob would have been in the forefront of her heart.

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I remember feeling hurt for Edward when I found out that she HAD fallen in love with Jacob. And I had to remember that Edward DID leave Bella in NM, even though it was "for her own good" it hurt her more than anything could ever penetrate her. And she DID fall for Jacob unkowingly but was always true to Edward. It made me understand Balla a LOT more.
Also, a peice of Edward wanted Bella to choose Jacob over himself so that she could have a more normal "human" life. (Edward's just perfect that way).

Stephenie explained it well. I was never mad at Bella. I guess, because I knew since NM she was in love with him. Wasn't her fault, wasn't Jacobs. They were friends who fell in love. I did ache for Edward, but he knew Bella loved Jacob. He pushed her into his arms, so now he has to deal with the consequences.

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"Throw it out the window"- Jacob

Pixie wrote:

Stephenie explained it well. I was never mad at Bella. I guess, because I knew since NM she was in love with him. Wasn't her fault, wasn't Jacobs. They were friends who fell in love. I did ache for Edward, but he knew Bella loved Jacob. He pushed her into his arms, so now he has to deal with the consequences.

Ditto! I was never mad at Bella either... Jacob was totally there for her and she did not thinkg Edward was EVER coming back. Edward (as he admits) absolutely pushed her into Jacob's arms by leaving. I actually ached for both Edward and Jacob....in fact...the only times I cried during my first reading was when Bella realized (during the kiss) that she DID love Jacob....AND when Jacob was hurt in bed and she was telling him about seeing them together with their kids. Don't get me wrong....I am all for Bella being with Edward....but I LOVE Jacob too!

iluvedward wrote:

Ditto! I was never mad at Bella either... Jacob was totally there for her and she did not thinkg Edward was EVER coming back. Edward (as he admits) absolutely pushed her into Jacob's arms by leaving. I actually ached for both Edward and Jacob....in fact...the only times I cried during my first reading was when Bella realized (during the kiss) that she DID love Jacob....AND when Jacob was hurt in bed and she was telling him about seeing them together with their kids. Don't get me wrong....I am all for Bella being with Edward....but I LOVE Jacob too!

Those are exactly the two places I cried. I can not bring myself to read the bed chapter over, I just skim over it.

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"Throw it out the window"- Jacob

The wonderful thing about the whole Bella and Jacob storyline is that SM did not get into that typical romantic trap that there "can only be one person in the world for me". I like the way she handled that someone can find themselves attracted to and in love with two, sometimes very different, people.

I can't say it has happened to me, personally, but I know it has happened to plenty of people and if not two people at the same time, certainly, over a life time you can be in love with more than one person. And I like that SM included that in her story not only because a love triangle makes the books that much more interesting to read but also because it makes the character of Bella more believable.

And although it was surprising to Bella that she had been in love with Jacob for some time, as a reader, it wasn't to me. Jacob was always somewhere in her mind and thoughts no matter what was going on with her and Edward. And that kind of preoccupation is more than just "friendly concern".

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"No mires asi atras porque ya es pasado; No pienses en el futuro porque todavía está por llevar. Vive el presente y hazlo tan bonito que meresca la pena de ser recordado."

So often we've looked at how Edward and Jacob are different rather than what they had in common that Bella fell for both of them. She WAS physically attracted to both of them, even if not consciously toward Jacob early on -- she DEFINITELY noticed his muscular changes and liked what she saw! (So did we ) She felt she could talk to both of them about anything, she LAUGHED with both of them, and she felt safe with and valued by both of them.

Yes, there are just as many differences between these two guys, too, and that, of course, created some of the indecisive feelings she had in Eclipse because she knew life with Edward versus life with Jacob were very different paths to consider.

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"You would have come," he promised.
I tried to speak calmly. "Without a doubt." Twilight, p. 270

I like SM's explanation.

I do think that Edward basically WANTED her to fall in love with someone else and move on-that's why he left her the way he did. He made her think he didn't love or want her, and he was off to get "distracted" and that his vampire nature was such that he could move on easily.

So, I never got mad at Bella for falling for Jacob, because Edward set it up for her to move on. Edward did it with the best of intentions, but they were very flawed intentions on his part that assumed her love for him was much less deep than his love for her. It just caused things to get really complicated.

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"Would You Like a Side Of Cougar To Go With Your Mountain Lion, Edward?"
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(I never thought a set of brothers could challenge the Bluth Boys' hotness-then the Cullens came along!)

I feel so sorry for Jacob. He tried so hard. Loved her so completely, even though differently than Edward loved her. We know it's so refreshing for Edward that he can't read Bella's thoughts, and we see the same thing in Eclipse with Jacob--he kind of forgets that she can't see everything in his wolfy mind, and it's a pleasurable release to him. I'm pro-Edward, of course, because that's what Bella wants (and makes for some dang good story-telling!) but I am always so sad for Jacob because w/o Edward, Bella and Jacob would have been so happy together. Gha! Why must I wait for Breaking Dawn??? I want to see Jacob happy again!

Drip, drip, drip. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob...

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Beck

I'm still mad at her, but I will be able to forgive her, just not now. Although, you did change my perspective on the whole 'Bella-falling-in-love-with-2-guys-thing', I will never look at it like I did before.

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Thanks Brenda_e

That's what I was trying to get at. (How she fell in love and DIDN'T KNOW IT) But now I know why. I actually wasn't a DIEHARD fan the first read through for NM and Eclipse. I had to understand why all these things happened and then I read the series again and came to almost complete content with Edward's and Bella's choices. I just wanted to know WHY WHY WHY. and finally I understand for the most part. ANd I see how she missed falling in love with Jacob and didn't recognize it. So Brenda_e just keep thinking about THAT and it makes it easier to forgive her. (It's hard when she crushes the SPARKLING man we love huh?!)

My feelings about the love triangle have softened some over time . . . some. But I was never mad at Bella. I was more so disappointed in her and let down by her actions. And, I’ll admit that I even felt a little betrayed. Practically speaking, I completely understand that it is quite possible for one person to fall in love with two people at the same time. However, I did not expect for BELLA to be that person. I guess Twilight and New Moon did too good of a job selling me on the idea that there could never be anyone else for Bella but Edward. The subsequent ‘two soul mates’ epiphany in Eclipse really crushed that idea to the point that I started to second guess how I was reading the series.

My problem was (and to a much smaller degree, still is . . . ) with the idea that Bella’s relationship with Jacob is somehow equal to, or just as great as, her relationship with Edward. My problem with that idea (i.e. to Bella, Jacob=Edward) is that it completely negates Bella’s reasons for choosing Edward. Because if she loves them both the same, why did she choose Edward? Why in the world would she still choose to essentially die when she could live and have a normal life with Jacob? If Bella really can be just as happy and just as in-love with Jacob as she is with Edward, then I can’t help but question the point of this story. For me, I have to believe that Bella’s decision to choose Edward goes beyond her own physical preferences. It has to go beyond Edward’s maturity versus Jacob’s immaturity. For me, if Bella is truly going to end up with Edward, it HAS to come down to the fact that no one, no thing, no nothing could ever compare with how she feels when she’s with him. Nobody should make her happier than Edward does. Because the stakes for picking Edward are so much higher than they are for picking Jacob. Therefore, I need Bella’s decision and love for Edward to transcend any reason she could have for choosing Jacob. Otherwise, this would just turn into the story of a very strange, masochistic and suicidal teenager. Am I making any sense?

I guess I’m just saying that I understand the need for the love triangle (‘love is sacrifice’, and all that jazz . . .), I just hope that the triangle and its problems don’t bleed profusely into Breaking Dawn. I want to be restored to my Twilight and New Moon perceptions of Bella and Edward’s relationship.

I can understand that. However, the "two soul mates" idea didn't bother me because I see a soul mate as someone who's soul can mingle with your own. I believe that we meet many soul mates in our life...sometimes romantic, sometimes familial, sometimes just friends, but together your souls sing. I see how Bella has that with both Edward and Jacob. And different soul mates are different. I don't see Jacob as being equal to Edward at all. With Jacob, Bella's soul dances and laughs and lives. With Edward, Bella's soul soars and is grounded at the same time and is inspired. Bella isn't the kind of girl who would choose dancing and laughing over soaring and inspiration. She just isn't. And that is why, even though their is a mingling of souls with Jacob, she is a perfect fit with Edward. It is the right kind of soul mate to be with forever. Their souls mingle in exactly the right way for a forever kind of love.

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"...you are exactly my brand of heroin[e]."

Also remember that there I[b]S[/b] SOMETHING MORE with Edward.
After she chose Edward over Jacob. She was cryingn (of course) and Edward asked if she was making the right choice, and she thought about one thing...."she had HURT a lot worse before" AND that was when Edward had left her. Once again she KNEW who she could NOT live without...no matter the consequences...(Being changed into a Vampire being THAT consequence.)
I don't know about Souls and stuff but remember that her love for Jacob isn't as strong as Edwards, she didn't even recognize falling in love with Jacob, and she knows she can live without him...a peice of her heart will always have Jacob. But never in this lifetime will Jacob be able to fill Bells whole heart like Edward....come on...he's an Eclipse. I don't think Bella want to JUST BE HAPPY, Edward IS a lot more than that.